I got this inspiration from Daniel Handler about his book “Why We Broke up”. It’s about the narration of a girl, the main character, of the events of reasons why they broke up with her boyfriend. I have been in this more than two year relationship. This book made me inspire to think how the two year relationship ended. Of course, I can’t write like the book. It would be plagiarism. I think it would just be my guide to digest every reason why I suddenly ended a strong relationship. At first, I was really confused and focused only on the current mistake you had done which ended the relationship suddenly. I know there was more to it and I think writing them would made me see clearer of the facts why what we have became what we had.
- I had a crappy and stressful job. I got this job with a boss which everyone wished to don’t have. Demanding boss, stressful work and low pay rate. What more could you ask? I was on the verge of thinking that “Is this what I worth?” I became less of what I should be. How can I give more if I feel less? Just there I wanted to find myself again. I went away from you and quit my job. That is why we broke up.
- I needed to get away. What we had were not just being lovers. We also became the best of friends. Moving away from my birth place had forced me to leave all things behind like the familiar places, friends, and the life I already built on my original roots. I came here in this province with nothing and with the notion of starting anew. But the ebb of events I had planned was not happening as it’s supposed to be. Making friends was very hard. The culture which I have known for a very long time was different here. It’s hard to adopt when everyone is treating you like an alien and laughed about the culture you had. But amidst of that, you approached me first and then we became friends until we became lovers. I only had you as a friend and the only person I could trust beside my family. For two years, my world just revolved around my family, you and work. I had nothing else. I can’t have Friday nights with girls. I can’t have sleepovers. I only ended looking at Facebook watching my friends had fun. I saw myself and my life starting to slipped away from the world I wanted. It killed me a little bit because I am stuck here in a faraway place with a crappy job. The jealousy is eating inside because I can’t go out here. This is because I have been living inside this tiny bubble. I started to suffocate. I want more in life and I was not contented. Everything is just boiling inside and if I don’t go away I might explode. That is why when my cousin invited me to go back to Davao for a vacation, I grabbed it without second thought. I think this is what I needed. Indeed, it was. I already had a contact with my friends and got a chance to catch up with them. I almost forgot about you. I had done all the things I should have done years ago. That is why we broke up.
- We are not on the same page with the future. For many years, we had plans. Yes, I was indeed ready to see a future with you. It was a good plan and not as extravagant compared to others. It’s a simple plan as a start of having a family. As long as we have a good career we will start our life together and other stuff which I would not enumerate here anymore. But months slipped by until it became years, I see little progress at your side. Was it supposed to be our plan? Or just mine all along? That is why we broke up.
- My mother did not want you for me. Me and my mother had this huge fight over you. Of course, even though my mother had a point why she did not want you for me, I defended you because we had something they don’t know. We had our own plans. That is why we broke up.
- You can’t say no to your friends. I am not saying that I do not like your friends. I just don’t like the idea of them asking you to get drunk with sky is the limit. I did not forbid you to meet them because they are your friends. But I asked you to be responsible when it comes to your friends and the drinking sessions you had. Your friends tend to overdid things and you can’t say no to that. That is why we broke up.
- You lied big time. This is because of your fierce loyalty to your friend we ended up on this big fight that ended things suddenly. You just can’t understand what I want from you when you are around your friends in which you are forced to lie to me. When I had discovered that one single lie everything just followed. How can you have a relationship when everything is crumbling down? When trust is broken, sorry is not enough anymore. Then and there I had enough. Everything just exploded and all I want is out. That is why we broke up.
Above all what I had from you was the best real thing. You are my great love and I thank you for that. But everything changes and before it ruins us and what we had, it’s time for some distance. I loved you so much with every soul that left me nothing and that is why we broke up.
Before year 2013 ends, there are things that I would like to share which made this year the best so far. Why? Each of us has our own dreams and plans in life. Mine is simple. My dreams and plans were fortunately happening in this year which I was not really aware of. Thanks to my friends who also loved traveling and had been there to make it come true. Like what they say “Collect memories not things“.
I’ve come to like to collect memories by going to places where I have never been. This has been the greatest lesson life taught me, that things do fade away but memories remain in you forever. It is not about money, fame and things that makes life worthy. Its not always about love too. Its about how you always look forward to it everyday, set your goal, work your plan and do it. To make life more exciting and meaningful, make sure that you have to plan something that you will look forward everyday, every month and every second of your life.
I called them blessings of God. I have been blessed by God to see places, see other people and know different cultures beside my own circle. To see the other side of the world makes you see that there is more and you should not be contented sitting around your circle. Unfortunately, I am not yet finish. Eventually, I just started. Haha! I will still look forward next year. Yup, there are still boiling plans with my friends and I hope 2014 will be the same best year as 2013.
It is inevitable that some of us find someone who we can love to the extent. Someone who will become not just our bestfriend but also a lover. When your paths crossed, you think that God has given it to you. Most especially, when you prayed for a long time and then this someone came. But sometimes destiny plays a trick to us. Just when we are settled to believe that this is the one you’ll end up with forever, fate intervines for some reason. Like what they say, some things do not meant to last forever. Everything in this world is transitory and changes happen with or without our permissions. That’s why, if we have something good for now it is better to think that its just borrowed. That God had only lent it to you to experience how wonderful to fall inlove without reasons and boundaries. To put more meaning in your life that you only experience once in a while. So, any time He ask it back, you can let go. That it won’t take you eternity to learn to get by. No matter how much we want to hold and fight for it, if its not for you, it will not be yours.
There are times that when the emotions are too extreme, its never wrong to stop for a while and take a break. Give a room to breath in for your heart to rest. That maybe this time, you need to listen to your mind. To weigh things using reasons over emotions. It is really hard to state your reason, especially when one cannot understand. Some may tell its just an excuse. Some may get mad because its selfishness. But no matter what is your decision, it is best to put yourself first. It’s already enough that you gave your all to someone leaving yourself nothing. Maybe it is time already to put yourself first and be selfish. Emotion is not unlimited. If its used too much, it also explodes. Whatever decisions come out at the end, whatever emotions are tampered and whatever things you have to stop gripping, in the end its for the betterment.
At least once in your life, you felt how to be loved and love in return. The only thing that does not change is the memories you shared. These things are the once you can always reminisce. A lesson to you on how you learn to love, fight, cry and get hurt. The memory that will put a smile on your face and say “Hey! Its nice to love unconditionally.”.
This is the first time me and my friends went out of town. We went to one of the best beaches in Philippines, Boracay Island. The first time we arrived there we were shocked. Everyone just passing by confidently with their bikinis and trunks. Of course, being used to conservative to somewhat not so revealing clothes, we were really dumbstruck. Plus the views were really amazing. It’s just a part of Aklan but when we were in the island we were totally transformed into another world. It really felt like we were on paradise. Everything was so beautiful, the views and even the people. You can rarely see Filipino because most of them are foreigners from different countries like Chinese, Koreans, Japanese, British, Americans and many more. It was really a place where you can feel you are the foreigner. Everyone was so friendly. People had warm smiles when you crossed path, even if you don’t know each other. When you talk about the scenery, who would not love the white sand, crystal clear and cold water, green mountains and rich marine animals. The place is clean. Its seldom you can find trashes thrown at the beach.
My friends and I had done series of memorable activities. First day, we took a trip around the island using ATV motors. It was really the best joy ride of my life. I can control my own motor and go to these amazing places and see the island. In the afternoon, we swam on the beach but not for long because the water was so cold. The next day, we went island hopping, helmet diving and parasailing. The second day was not really a good one for us. Some of us vomited because they were sea sick due to the big waves of the sea. But even so, we still had fun. The day that we have to go home was really sad. How I wished that I would have more days to stay on the island. It was a place where you can find peace, fun and be just who you are. To forget all the works, worry and problems in the city. It was the place where you can really connect with Mother nature and enjoy the blessings. The people in Boracay is really lucky to live in a place like that. I would really want to back someday there and enjoy once more the beach and the fun activities.
It’s been a long time since I’ve got myself into blogging. I bet it was 3 years ago? I had this blog since I was first year college but recently it was taken down by blogsome. Maybe because I was not updating anymore and they are cleaning their database. But here I am starting my own blog again. Hoping again to be inspired.
I was really just jealous because a friend of mine had her own one. I think I like to have a fresh start. I want to write again creatively. After I have stopped blogging, I forgot how to write using what’s in your heart. I never totally forgot writing anyway since I do some article writings as part time job. But those articles are found in Google or they came from an idea of a person just being creatively changed into a new one. With my own blog, I can write my own unique one of what’s inside my mind and heart.
I hope I will be inspired and write not just an article entry of this blog but as well as poems. I missed those times when I can be a hopeless romantic fool and expressed my feelings through my poems. Haaaaaiiii! So… Hello to my new blog! :)